Slipping Away From At Home Shoe Wearing

You know how in some parts of the world, wearing shoes inside a private home is seldom, if ever, acceptable and even in parts of the world where shoes-off is not the rule in every single household it is in some?  Well, a couple of years ago, my mom had talked about wanting to have such a rule in her home as she and my stepdad had been refinishing a lot of the floors in the house that they own. Being the kind of person who, at the time, always put shoes on as part of getting dressed in the mornings and generally kept them on until closer to time to get ready for bed regardless of whether or not I would be going anywhere, I was dreading that possibility. After all, for me, wearing shoes was part of being dressed, if not presentable, and put me in a far better frame of mind to go about my business in the home than did being barefooted or sock-footed. (I had worn slippers with regular clothes in the past, but they were often in such a style that, not only did they not blend so well with regular clothes, but I was prone to dragging my feet when walking. I got reprimanded for this once, and as I'd have to practically march to keep my feet from dragging in said slippers, I basically gave up on not having on real shoes when otherwise dressed for the day.)

Shortly after I heard my mom mention the possibility of a shoes-off rule, I started perusing the Internet for discussions on this matter. Though I don't think I realized it at the time, what I was really looking for was some tough love regarding my then reservations on that practice. Little did I know that I would find it on a blog devoted to that subject alone. If I remember correctly, it has been two years ago today since I started commenting on said blog. At various times, I kept checking said blog out and commenting on it. (I can't tell you exactly which posts I commented under, but a lot of my earlier comments reflected the skepticism I had at the time regarding the practice of excluding shoes from life inside the home. Now, said comments make me feel rather embarrassed.)

The time that my mom had mentioned possibly having a shoes-off rule, I happened to be in my last year of college. Shortly after my graduation, I would be moving to St. Louis to live with my dad. My dad was often in slippers or less in our then apartment as it supposedly was better for his balance at home. Roughly three months into my living with him, he decided to have a "no shoes" rule in the apartment (applying mostly to me and him) in favor of slippers or less. Up until then, I was continuing with my shoe-wearing habit, but after that rule was initiated, I wore a pair of fuzzy purple slippers instead. I was later able to get a pair of slippers that looked more like black flats. I wore those around the apartment until they wore out and then it was back to the fuzzy slippers. The rule ended up flopping though, as footwear changes were generally made in the bedroom. (On a shopping trip that we took, we were going to get a shoe rack, but a combination of lack of time and the amount of stuff we had already gotten caused us to forgo it.)  The fact that we had let the state of the floor (as well as the rest of the place) slide due to the busywork we both were doing almost every day defeated the purpose of the aforementioned rule as well.

I had been living with my dad for nine and a half months, only to have to return to my mom as he was having some surgery, the nature of which required him to go somewhere to recover. While living with my mom, I tried sticking to wearing a pair of blue flip-flops that, due to a particular detail at the V-strap, I'd wear at home if I wore them at all. This was okay for warm weather but not so much for cold weather. The purple fuzzy slippers tended to make me feel like I was lounging around, which was not always a plus, so for a while, back to actual shoes it was. (I wasn't about to go about any housework in just my socks.)

I don't remember why this happened, but at some point, I became inspired to see about some ballet-flat type slippers for at home, especially for say, snowy days when I needed something to replace my shoes after coming in.  When it became feasible, I bought a pair of white satin ones, which I started wearing around the house when, as far as I knew, I was not going back out after having coming in from whatever I had been doing that day or I was not going out at all. I had bought these specifically with my regular clothes in mind. Later, I bought a pair of black satin slippers, which like the white ones, would serve the purpose of giving me that "fully dressed and ready to face xyz" feeling that I previously associated only with wearing actual shoes. The slippers have turned out to be a nice change of pace on days when I'd either be walking somewhere or after having come home from my volunteer work at a local thrift store in which the nature of my responsibilities had me constantly on my feet.

I took my ballet flat slippers and my blue flip-flops with me when I went to my sister's for the summer, and which one of those I'd wear depended on weather as well as whatever else I was wearing at the time. My first night there when I had gotten my luggage into what would act as my room, I changed into one of my pairs of slippers shortly after. I think I started out with the ballet flat slippers that summer and  switched to the flip-flops further into the summer (though I'd occasionally slip off the latter when sitting on a bed--my own or my nephew's, on the couch or on the floor).

I don't know why, but sometime in the summer I decided that, when I got home, I'd try dressing for whatever outside engagement I had from the ankles up but go about pre-going out business in my slippers and wait until closer to time to go to put on whatever shoes I planned on wearing. And that's what I've been doing almost every day since August. I found that doing this reinforced the fact that I wasn't going anywhere for a while so I might as well take care of a few things before I go, whereas wearing shoes before closer to time to go somehow caused me to dwell on the fact that I was going to be going somewhere, and thus I'd be looking at the clock or pacing about or doing something else that reflected my anticipation of going somewhere.

The shoes-off rule has yet to happen. I'd have no problem with leaving my shoes at the door and switching to my slippers there too. However, as my mom and stepdad do not do this,I worry that for me to do it when they don't would be taking more of a liberty than I can get away with, so for the time being, I wear my shoes from my bedroom on out when I'm about to go out, and when I come home, they stay on until I hit the bedroom, but I make my shoe to slipper change at my earliest available opportunity, including before starting on any dishes that await me before I get home.

I think it is after I had cut down on my shoe-wearing at home that I realized how much of it was unnecessary. There was not much point in wearing them when I wasn't going out any time soon.  If I had enough time in the mornings to do more than get ready, surely the shoes could wait. If anything, I feel that having shoes off in favor of slippers helps me feel "clocked in" to my home life, whereas switching to shoes makes me feel like I'm "clocking out". Plus, there are things I do at home from time to time that call for my shoes to be off, such as updating my pedicure and checking my weight. Also, if outdoor shoes are meant to act as an armor against the outside world (and yes, even sandals and stilettos fit this category in theory), then it should no be necessary in what is supposed to be the safe environment of the home. Rather, slippers or less would reflect the relative safety of the home.

Normally, when the practice of forgoing shoes in the private home is endorsed, it's done from the cleanliness/floor protection angle. To be honest, this angle doesn't work for me, especially given things that could undermine this (e.g. pet's paws, luggage or book bags with wheels, accidentally walking out in slippers or less and back in that way, etc.). However, that didn't mean I couldn't find merit in disassociating the wearing of shoes from life inside the home. I don't know if I will have such a rule for guests if I get my own place. If at all possible though, I think that when I'm out on my own (i.e. not living with either of my parents) I will at least make a point of leaving my own shoes at the door (barring an emergency) before engaging in life at home (and maybe instilling this concept into my future children).