The Snow We've Been Getting

We had snow since the beginning of the month. It has been last Monday since I had consistent access to a sidewalk. Not only are the sidewalks covered to where I can't find them, but the piles are too high for me to walk through them without getting more than a minimal amount of pant leg wet. Needless to say, a lot of commutes I have had to make had me walking on the street but as close to the curb as possible.

Last Tuesday and Wednesday, the office where my mom works was closed. My stepdad had to work Tuesday, but the store ended up closing early, and he had the day off on Wednesday anyway. Wednesday is also one of the days when I do my volunteer work at a local thrift store, but last Wednesday it was closed and today, the weather was too risky for me to go over there without at least arranging a ride.

Things that were supposed to happen this month ended up not happening because of the weather. The fashion show that my mom and I were supposed to participate in this past Sunday had been postponed by a month. The work night that the aforementioned thrift store (for anyone, staff member or not, to come in if they wished in order to help further things along) that was scheduled for tomorrow ended up getting cancelled because of the weather.

Then, there's my job search. I have not been able to turn in a single job application last week because of the snow and the very bitter cold. I have one filled out that I hope to turn in tomorrow, and I'm hoping to seek out more. (Unfortunately, I will have to walk on the street for longer distances than what it takes to get to my volunteer work.) The snow does not change the fact that I've got student loans to pay off and not to mention I want to minimize my dependency on either of my parents (in addition to not wanting to let them down).

As a kid, I enjoyed the snow, especially if I got a chance to play in it. I remember various times when I've even built snowmen. As an adult, I've found it hard to enjoy. For one thing, it's keeping me from doing things I need to go out and do or at least making it difficult. Another is that I feel I have to much "indoor stuff" to do that I don't feel right about going outside without having any business calling me there. Also, while it'd be one thing to be out playing in the snow if my nephew 8-year-old were around, it seems silly for me to be playing in it by myself at 25 (especially given, again, the "indoor stuff" there is for me to do; but if I run out of it, MAYBE I'll consider going outside).

I will say though, it is pretty to look at. I'll sometimes look out the window at it. (And to think in the last couple of months it didn't look like we'd get any.) Being out in it is just a different matter. I'm hoping it doesn't become too much of a problem for me this month.

The Empty Seat

Since October of 2009, when I had returned to my mom after nine-and-a-half months of living with my dad when he had to have surgery and go somewhere to recover from said surgery, I had been attending a Baptist church in my current hometown. There was an elderly whom I would often sit next to. She and I would talk a bit before the service. One of the things that would come up was my job search. She'd ask how it was going, and I'd admit that it wasn't going so well. She was sympathetic of this. (She knew the economy was making it hard to get a job.)

Last week, I had heard that she was in the hospital. I think it had something to do with a hip injury. If the weather had allowed, I maybe would've gone to see her. I found out today that she died on Thursday, and her funeral was this afternoon. After church, I went home basically just long enough to eat some lunch and then headed over to the funeral home where said funeral was taking place. (The burial is set to be a private family one to take place on another date.) I was hoping that today, I'd maybe get some clarification from the pastor as to the details of her condition and maybe find out what part of the hospital she was in so that I could perhaps go see her. But obviously, it was too late. She lived to be 79.

We could all be confident that we'll see someone again or that we'll get to do xyz only for death to change all that. Will I live as long as my friend did? I don't know at this point. On the one hand, I regret not seeing her one last time before her passing. If I knew earlier specifically which part of the hospital she was in, I would've maybe toughed out the weather we had been having to go see her.

Church won't be the same anymore without her to talk to before service. Perhaps the empty seat next to me is symbolic of the void that her passing has left. Will someone else fill the seat next to me? Who knows? All I know is that I should never take for granted the people in my life (in my family, at church, or anywhere else). After all, one day they could be gone for good.